Collector of Injustices

Collectors of Injustice

I recently was gifted the removal of a toxic potential employee. I hired her thinking she was the perfect fit for my administrative assistant position. She was retired and had evenings free and wanted a part-time inspiring job to fill her time. She had an impressive resume and when I spoke to her on the phone, she was positive and sharp and communicated well. She had a long, dependable work history and professional, supervisory skills. She worked two hours on the job and walked out sending an “I failed” text upon exiting.  I learned shortly after the storm, that this woman had never “felt so disrespected before in her life.” Not by me, but by a young failing employee I made the mistake of trusting to train her. What I realized was that she wasn’t the right fit at all, and I was so grateful that was made clear after only two short hours.

I’d never experienced this before and I’ve gone through many less than desirable employees over the years…employees that were not dependable, employees that were stealing, employees that slept at the desk when no one was watching, employees that were on their phone and logging onto their personal email on the work computer instead of working, employees that made and broke promise after promise, employees that stuffed work in files unfinished and took short cuts that messed up my accounting, and even employees that showed up with red eyes and alcohol on their breath.  I have a history of employees that are incredible, and honorable with amazing work ethic too. It’s the yin and yang. We cannot appreciate the positive without first experiencing the negative.

On Christmas Day, I received a text from this unhappy, toxic storm saying she had not yet received her check for the two hours of training, and she wanted it mailed immediately. I replied that it had in fact been mailed and apologized for any negativity she experienced with the trainer I trusted who is no longer with us. Somehow, she had this completely inaccurate interpretation of my communication via text, which is NEVER how ANYONE should communicate, that I “defended” this ex-employee’s disrespectful behavior, didn’t believe her, and have serious issues. I would never defend anyone’s disrespectful behavior, but did not throw anyone under the bus, and was not going to take her side when I wasn’t privy or present to what actually happened. I am also celebrating the fact that this “professional” that was willing to storm out without even talking to me or giving me an opportunity to address the situation was not who I wanted to hire as my right arm. Everything really does happen for a reason.

On Christmas Day, this storm who I had recently hoped could be my rock also told me she was going to investigate and report my “12-year-old” staff members that aren’t old enough to work. Great. Now, I can expect a call and audit from the labor board. Even though I’m confident I have nothing to worry about, this is not the positive and successful energy I’m creating and working to move into 2020 for our team and family. Those “12-year-old” staff members call themselves “The Dream Team” and they are an extraordinary group of black belts who are at our Studio almost every night and have been since they tested for their Black Belts last October. They were training and teaching and leading by example and I was so impressed and so proud of their commitment and dedication that I searched for a way to reward them. They weren’t old enough to be paid or officially on staff, but I wanted to include them in our staff meetings to give them the value and respect they so rightfully earned. This toxic storm met these incredible kids at a staff meeting that purposely followed her interview so our team could meet their potential office rock. She remarked at how incredible our staff was, especially these young kids, and now she’s decided to spend extra energy seeking some type of vengeance on me and my Martial Arts Studio and family. Why? Because she’s a Collector of Injustices, possibly a narcissist, and definitely a toxic storm I’m grateful was short lived.

Someone told me once, that these toxic people in my past circle were drawn to my light and wanted what I have. I’ve learned that when I call these toxic storms out on their bad behavior and poor choices, they decide it’s me who is unjust or unfair and they refuse to take any responsibility for their actions. I’ve had multiple instructors that were stealing and yet somehow, in their small world, I’m the evil one for firing them. I’ve had instructors who were lying and deceiving and poisoning my students against me, and they were so convincing to others that I was the evil one for letting them go that they took with them some of my closest students. I’ve had married instructors that had an affair with a student and when I told them I did not want an instructor representing my Studio that was NOT leading by example and walking their talk, somehow I was the evil one for removing them too. I’ve had instructors and students who thought it was ok to trash talk students and when I defended my tribe and told them they were obviously not the right fit for our Martial Arts family, I was….yep, the bad guy.

I’m human and I fail from time to time, but I know “If I fall, I get back up again and learn from my mistakes.” I’m not one to hold my tongue. I practice what I preach. I call people out on their $h!t and, although I may not always like it in the moment, I always appreciate when others call me out on mine. I believe in everything we teach, especially honesty and integrity. As the self-proclaimed Queen of Cliché’s, I will quote some of my favorites here:

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” Mark Twain

“Truth will ultimately prevail where there is pains to bring it to light.” George Washington

“The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those who speak it.” George Orwell

There are also quotes about standing by and doing nothing when you witness a crime. Many people are so “pc” or weak they often say nothing when they witness lies or deceit even when it is realized far after the fact. I’ve witnessed what I call the “I hate Denice” clan join forces to discuss and celebrate their Collection of Injustices that have apparently come from me in the above examples I mentioned. Not one of them is strong or courageous enough independently or individually to have any direct communication with me. Some parents and outside instructors I’ve called out for allowing their black belt children to parade around and compete at tournaments as green belts in order to win unfairly, chose to write reviews to damage my business using twisted words and untruths. Hypocrites that used to talk trash about outside competing instructors now use them to sit on testing boards in order to create an unauthentic visual to serve their selfish needs. I used to allow these collectors to also steal my power. I used to blame myself for being the common denominator as I had a pattern of collecting as well, collecting toxic people. I must’ve been operating on a low vibrational level during this time in my life, but I forgive myself for the past knowing exactly why and what caused my sinking. I can see I’m growing and improving and slowly rising as this latest storm lasted only two hours. One of my sweetest and closest instructors said to me, “Miss Denice, you have the worst luck with people.” With gratitude, I am learning to embrace these storms knowing with them comes a wisdom and experience I use to become stronger and… I. am. very. strong.

“What other people think of me is none of my business.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Don’t believe everything you hear, and ALWAYS trust your gut. Believe in yourself. What you believe you can achieve. Moving into a new year, I am so excited with the team of instructors I have that are committed, dedicated, honorable and loyal without doubt. We are truly Martial Artists in uniform and out. We have integrity. We all lift our Martial Arts family up instead of tearing anyone or anything down. We are NOT Collectors of Injustices. I am no longer a collector of toxic people. I am bracing to avoid future storms alongside my strong, brave, courageous, remarkable team helping me to hold up our roof and weatherproof our walls. We believe in the work we do. We are growing together, learning, and making a positive difference in our world, one footprint at a time. That’s my focus for the future. 2020 here we come!