Early morning gratitude
INVINCIBLE. This is the Theme of the October Black Belt Test. “Invincible. The power to overcome. Can’t be stopped. Won’t be stopped.”
I woke up at 530pm this morning and remembered the quote by Rumi, one of my favorite philosophers.
“The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you
Don't go back to sleep!
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep!
People are going back and forth
across the doorsill where the two worlds touch,
The door is round and open
Don't go back to sleep!”
I didn’t go back to sleep. I used this time as an opportunity to reply to one of our students who recently gave notice. They weren’t feeling the “vibe of the tribe.” Initially, I felt very defensive. They were talking about MY people!! I had to take a breath and chose not to respond right away. When I gave it some time, I was reminded this wasn’t about me or my people, it was about this person directly. The book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz reminds us not to take anything personally. It’s difficult for me to see how ANYONE would not connect to our Martial Arts family. At the end of my response, I was overflowing with gratitude. Gratitude for the words that flowed through me and the opportunity to respond. Gratitude for the reminder that everything happens for a reason. Gratitude for every, amazing, loving, supportive, non-judgmental person in our Martial Arts family that shares a passion for their training and a passion for growing and learning and helping others join us along the way. They are INVINCIBLE.
My Martial Arts family fuels me to become a better person, a better leader and instructor, a better teammate, a better friend and even a better mom. I work on growing and evolving every day. My tribe gives me strength to persevere when I have nothing left. Through floods and high waters and exhaustion and discouragement, my tribe lifts me up even if they don’t know it. I hear them share the wisdom of their years of training and words like, “you are never alone, your Martial Arts family is here for you” and my heart is filled with joy and satisfaction. I interview for our administrative assistant position with students nearby and ask them to share why someone would want to work at our studio to hear replies about being “family” and because we have a wonderful “leader” and am frozen in time breathing it all in. Our family comes in all shapes and sizes, all ages, race, religion, athletic ability, and perspectives and I wouldn’t change a thing. We all make mistakes and we all learn from them; we get up when we fall, we forgive one another and continue to love without judgment. This is my tribe and I am honored to have created this amazing circle of extended family.
This week in classes, we worked on the meaning of “state management” = controlling how you feel, act, behave and perform. We also had a flood in our Studio that caused $10,000-$20,000 in damage to the Indian Restaurant below us. I’ve had at least 10 floods in my home and now, one in my business. I felt devastated. Overwhelmed. In addition, my kids were very sick which as a single parent is not only exhausting but gives me painful flashbacks of when I had to navigate sickness alone in their younger years. It was a tough week and as I asked my students, “How fast can you change?” I too changed “that fast.” Then, I read the essay of one of my Black Belt Candidates.
Students are required to write multiple paragraphs on a variety of topics as a portion of the written part of your Black Belt Test. I read Jaden’s essay and was blown away. This once timid, 13-year-old boy has become the Martial Artist I hope all my students become. He has learned and incorporated the amazing philosophical gifts Martial Arts gives to us in his life already! He trains and helps teach almost every day there is class in preparation for his Black Belt – and he’s not the only one. He leads by example and I am proud and honored to be his guide and teacher – as I am to every one of the extraordinary individuals who are committed to our Martial Arts family. Every. Single. One.
“Invincible” is a perfect theme for our test this year for many reasons. I’ve witnessed what this means to be invincible up close in tragic and painful situations and I’ve watched what it means to persevere with indomitable spirit, courage, strength, and grace. I’ve felt my heart bleeding for my people and felt my will to be the “rock” of our tribe drive me to be more, be stronger, be present. I’ve watched leadership blossom, self-doubt deteriorate, character deepen with such resolve it solidified identities for the future. We have the most incredible village and I am so grateful.
When I recently lost my best furry friend of 15 years the day after he was asking for my attention and I failed him, I made a commitment to always be present for those I love. My kids and I will be leaving for a much-needed vacation to breathe in freedom and family, food and culture, and Italy. It’s terrible timing following the flood that requires intense remediation and remodeling and scheduling and an unhappy landlord and guilt and remorse for the damage to our neighbors restaurant despite it being an unforeseen and unpreventable accident (BTW if you EVER flush a toilet and it does not flush PLEEEEASE come and tell someone no matter how embarrassing it may be!) but…..I AM going to be present for my children, and for myself. “Without you sharpening your blade first, the other blades are meaningless and will remain dull and motionless.” GGM Ernie Reyes, Sr.
My magnificent Martial Arts family will be running the Studio while I am gone. I know I can count on them; we count on each other. I know when I need them, they are there and I know without doubt they feel the same about me. We are there for each other. This is family. It’s not about age or athletic ability or personalities, it’s about perspective. We chose each other and I am overflowing with gratitude. Maybe this is why we had a flood……sometimes, God has to remind us to be grateful for what we have. I am grateful.
Kwan Jang Nim Denice Challender-Slater
Essay by Jaden Crouser
I am a Black Belt Candidate. I am following the footsteps of world class Martial Artists. Ernie Reyes West Coast World Martial Arts (WCWMA) is not just training me for my Black Belt, but training me for life now and in the future.
The Black Belt mindset is to never quit, never give up even in the toughest situations. Throughout our lives there will be challenges. I believe the Black Belt mindset applies throughout all areas of our lives because it is during these challenging times we must dig deep and keep going even when we feel like giving up. Giving up is the easy way and a black belt faces challenges head on. I have this mindset because throughout my journey to black belt there were times I became frustrated. I felt like giving up, but I stuck it out, dug deep and kept going. I pushed myself through the struggles. No matter what I face now, I will remember this and even when I feel like something is hard and I struggle, I will NEVER GIVE UP.
Martial Arts has taught me many things. Martial Arts has taught me to be aware of my surroundings through the self defense training. Martial Arts has taught me respect through bowing to Master Instructors, saying “Yes Ma’am” or “Yes Sir”. I have learned to respect authority whether it is a higher belt, a teacher at school, or my parents at home. Through Martial Arts I have learned self discipline. I have had to practice and do things without being told such as study curriculum, or do chores. I have learned to take care of my body by eating healthy and getting exercise. I have learned to work on physical fitness. I have applied Martial Arts training to self control both at home and in the studio. My Master Instructor has taught me body control and to look people in the eye when speaking with them. Martial Arts training has given me focus. I apply this to learning Martial Arts and also in school. I need to concentrate to learn.
I believe I am ready to be a Black Belt because I have the mindset to succeed and I have been practicing and training for 7 years. Early in my journey to Black Belt, I encountered success and also frustrations. I did not always handle my frustrations well. As I began developing the Black Belt mindset, I recommitted to my martial arts, and learned (still learning) to channel my frustrations into solutions or mastery of a particular skill. The frustration is pushing me to be better. I am becoming more inspired. I believe I am ready to take it to the next level. Everyday I try to apply Martial Arts to my everyday life by focusing, looking people in the eye, using respect, being honest and having the integrity to do what I am supposed to do and behave the way I am supposed to behave even when no one is watching.
Ernie Reyes WCWMA differs from other martial arts programs because it teaches the whole person not just skills. You learn how to apply the life skills to all areas of your life, not just in the studio. West Coast World Martial Arts differs from other martial arts schools because we learn martial arts from around the world with differing styles. WCWMA builds team and family. It is about giving back to others and helping those around us. It teaches us how to better our daily lives through affirmation, giving value, training, and proper exercise and diet. I believe WCWMA produces Martial Artists who are inspired, and excited about not just martial arts, but life itself.
My Master Instructor Denice Challender has practiced martial arts many years. She has dedicated her life to martial arts and teaching others. She opened her own studio and wants to provide a fun, safe, family oriented studio. She uses her training to become a better person and shares her talents with others. She believes that martial arts teaches discipline and builds character. Within her studio she has built a family that supports each other inside and outside the DOJO. She teaches us that martial arts not only teaches discipline and physical fitness for life but also respect and to support each other and our community. We lead by example and push ourselves to be better. She is a 5th degree studying for her 6th degree mastery test in 2020.
Ernie Reyes was inducted into the Martial Arts Hall of Fame. He has received many achievement awards and founded our association with Tony Thompson. Ernie Reyes is an inspiration in many ways. He works hard and trains for life. He encourages us to do the same. He believes we are peace makers, and that through martial arts we can achieve health (fitness), happiness, and success for us all in our lives. Ernie Reyes’ own personal journey in life battling health issues and other trials helps him to share his story with us. We are inspired by his indomidable spirit. Part of the WCWMA philosophy is to be honorable, loyal, and brave. WCWMA not only teaches these values, but inspires us to be better people daily and to push through adversity while always reflecting on our journey. Tony Thompson has shared the martial arts journey with Ernie Reyes for 45 years. He devotes himself to teaching and training others. His goal is to empower others through martial arts. Tony Thompson graduated from San Jose University with Ernie Reyes where they met their instructor, Grand Master Dan Choi. Ernie Reyes and Tony Thompson have the goal and achievement to test for their 10th degree in 2020! Through Ernie Reyes’ and Tony Thompson’s extensive background they have created the Black Belt Success System and a dynamic and educational Martial Arts Association.
The instructors at West Coast Martial Arts Reno have fabulous instructors which I have much respect for and look up to:
KJN Denice Challender’s goal is to train you to be the best Martial Artist you can be. She is firm and tough but loving. She is supportive and always available for questions, help and support whether it is in martial arts or regular life. She pushes me to be the best and challenges me each day to be better.
Grand Master Smith is a caring instructor who is also tough and firm. He sets high expectations and pushes us to constantly improve.
BSBN Parminder Parmar is supportive and focuses on technique. He is helpful and kind. He gives his time freely when asked. I enjoy working with him!
All of the black belts at our school (KJN Keith, KJN Craig, BKJN Sheree, SBN Craig, and BSBN Jessica Parmar) all want us to succeed. They are all so supportive and kind. They work us hard but we feel supported in our training.
Giving value to others is part of a martial artist’s life. I give value to others by teaching lower belts, helping my instructors teach, leading by example, helping my teachers at school and helping at home. For example, there is a lower belt that also goes to my school. We often ride to martial arts class together. I have helped him practice after school and worked with him one on one on his forms. His Grandmother actually complimented me and thanked me for spending time with him. She said it made him feel more confident and inspired him to go farther in his belt rank. That made me feel good. I also volunteer during the school year at my school. I participate in food, clothing, and toiletry drives. I help my teachers clean up their classrooms, help my Principal after school with the garbage or other jobs, I also help my classmates with homework. At home I help my Mom lift things, carry things and other chores. I show respect to adults, I hold open doors for others and use polite manners. I believe even a smile can give value to someone.
Martial arts develops responsibility and maturity through the teaching of respect, self discipline, and self control. For example, practicing outside of class is a responsibility of a martial artist. Your instructors can help teach new skills but it is up to us to practice to maintain and learn the skill. It is my responsibility to come to class and special training prepared. It is also my responsibility to learn the curriculum and life skills as well as letting my instructors know if I will miss a training, have an injury or a specific question on the curriculum. It is also my responsibility to keep up on my journal writing daily. I also must take responsibility for my actions good or bad.
The 4 pillars of strength in our Association are:
· The Purpose of WCWMA( To develop oneself physically, mentally, spiritually with good character)
· What’s our goal? (Commitment to constant, never ending improvement)
· Black Belt Success System( Black belt is the goal: create a purpose; Start training consistently now: create momentum and 110% commitment; strive for Black Belt excellence: create quality; Correction-Repetition: see it, say it do it!; practice, practice, practice: indomidable spirit; Leads to Mastery: create extraordinary results for life!)
· 5 levels to Mastery( Non survival: 0 commitment; mediocre level: commitment to barely try; comfort zone level: commitment to get by; Black Belt excellence: Commitment to excel; Mastery Level: Extreme commitment to do the extraordinary)
These pillars help me in my life in various ways. For example, in school I set goals to help me succeed, manage time, and make good grades. I work to meet these goals. If I fail, I get up again and learn from my mistakes and keep working on the goal. I use the 5 levels of Mastery philosophy in school to help meet the goals I set and learn. In life outside martial arts, these pillars help me set goals for my future, and help me achieve a positive mental attitude and mindset. The 5 levels of Mastery help me remember that if I wish to master anything, I must commit to do the extraordinary and not settle for mediocre or comfort level. Settling is the easy way out. These pillars help push me and keep me committed to be not only a Black Belt, but to pursue my dreams.
The journey to Black Belt has been and is exciting, challenging, and frustrating at times. I have learned so much about myself and how much I can achieve. I have developed confidence and pride. I am looking forward to my continued journey, and continually “sharpening my blade”.